


Relief Tears

by liaskywalkerl



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Baby Ani, Gen, Obi-Wan is a dad, Young Anakin Skywalker, good parenting, older brother also works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:27:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28240899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liaskywalkerl/pseuds/liaskywalkerl
Summary: Anakin punches a classmate in meditation class, Obi-Wan needs to deal with it.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 9
Kudos: 61





	Relief Tears

If Anakin said he hated the meditation lessons in the Jedi temple, that would be the understatement of the century.

The child still couldn’t see why it was so important. When Mister Qui-Gon told him he would become a Jedi, way back in Tatooine, he imagined wizard things like having his colourful laser sword, saving pretty queens from trouble, helping people, freeing all the slaves from Tatooine, getting nice cool clothes... 

He didn’t imagine he would have to attend a class that consisted of sitting on a mat for what seemed to be endless hours, hearing instructions such as  release your emotions, focus on the force, try to connect with your inner self... 

Boring. 

The worst part was that his classmates seemed to be doing incredibly well. They looked centred, calm, peaceful and more focused than any adult Anakin had seen in Tatooine. Even more concentrated than his mother when she needed to stitch his clothes back together after they had been destroyed on a race. Until then, he thought this would be impossible. 

Anakin couldn’t understand  anything his teacher was telling them. She was a togruta with dark skin and white markings on her face; a Jedi Master named Arora Ryn. Her voice was calm and had a it accent he had never heard before, that made her voice so soothing that the Padawan thought he could fall asleep just listening to her rambling about the living force and emotions. Not that this was a difficult task, his philosophy teacher had figured that out in a rather unpleasant situation. 

— Now,— the Jedi Master said, her long dark robes trailed behind her, and even the sound of the friction of the material on the floor was calming — Try to picture the force, try to imagine how it feels to you, how it connects to you.

Anakin wanted to scream.

How was he supposed to see something that  _ wasn’t visible?  _ How in the name of the twin suns was he supposed to know the image of  feeling?  He could picture things like pain as bruises, sadness as tears, but how was he supposed to see the force? He never saw it, it just felt as something so common as breathing.

The image of Master Qui-Gon fighting against the Sith in Tatooine quickly popped in his mind, but that didn’t seem quite right. At all. It felt sad, and his chest was tightening as he felt more and more overwhelmed by each passing second.

— Now, I want each one of you to tell me what you see. Keep your eyes closed and just share what you can see when you picture the force.

Anakin closed his eyes and debated whether or not he should have kept them closed during all the exercise, but that was another issue for another day. 

— I see...— an initiate rodian girl named Deew started — I see calmness, and a bright sense of balance...

Anakin rolled his eyes even though they were closed 

—... and ...— she breathed out calmly. Anakin felt irrationally mad for some reason he couldn’t understand, this all felt extremely silly. — hope. A cold refreshing wave of hope. 

— Very well.— Master Ryn seemed somewhat satisfied with the initiate’s answer— Let’s all take a deep breath...

_ Maybe if I hold my breath for a long, long time, I’ll pass out, and they will let me out of here an- _

—  In...— the master said, and he heard all the other kids around him inhale calmly, he followed their lead just so he wouldn’t get in trouble, even if his ‘calm inhaling’ seemed more like a cleaning droid angrily aspirating the floor.

— ... and out...

Anakin liked this part, and he could seethe under his breath and pretend he was participating in the class.

— Now,— after a few instants of silence, Arora continued in her low, calm voice— Padawan Skywalker, please tell me what you see.

_ What a bunch of bantha pood- _

— _Uhm-hum.._ —  he mumbled. Anakin was the only Padawan in the class, and he was in a class of initiates, some younger than him, and was doing considerably worse than every one of them. This made his skin crawl in embarrassment. 

— Just share with us what you can see...

_ I hate it here... _

—  I see ...

Nothing.

— well... — he was so nervous couldn’t even come up with a lie, his cheeks burned so intensely he felt he was under Tatooine’s twin suns again. — I see... — he trailed off.

— What do you feel?

— Bored, ma’am. — the Padawan replied before he could make any sense of what was leaving his lips. His head started to ring with  ohh; you’re in trouble, you’re in trouble , almost immediately.

There was an awkward silence, and Anakin could hear some muffled chuckling around him. 

— Very well...— there was a small bit of annoyance in his voice, but maybe that was just Anakin’s nerves, never a Jedi master had been angry with him. Until now, that was. — What you can see in your  mind? 

— I can’t see  anything!—  he opened his eyes, exclaiming outraged. He  _ hated  _ this class. He  hated  meditating, and he  hated  talking about his feelings with other people. Anakin felt like a sun was burning inside him and the air was being sucked away from his lungs, he just wanted to go to his room and curl up in his blankets and wake up when he was finally allowed to have a training saber. 

Before the Master could reply, another kid said next to him :

— Maybe you can’t see anything in your mind because there  isn’t _anything_ there. I can’t understand how you are  _ so stupid  _ and become a Padawan while  _ we _ have to wait for a master to chose us an-

Anakin didn’t let him finish. He was yet to meet someone who continued to speak while being punched on the face. 

To say the least, this caused quite a commotion. 

After Master Arora Ryn managed to physically pick Anakin up from the top of the other boy–whose name he couldn’t care less– as she stated in a loud voice that the class was dismissed, making the other kids ran off the room, leaving it empty. The other boy sat up coughing and looking rather mad at Anakin.

Anakin wished he could give the initiate a menacing look, but he was still on the Master’s arms and kicking with his legs trying to get away so he doubted it would cause the desired effect. 

— Padawan Skywalker, stop this at  _ once!  _

He stopped, not because she had asked, but because his own master, Obi-Wan Kenobi, was standing on the door, with his hands on his hips and a comic expression of shock on his face.

—  _He called me stupid!_ —  Anakin protested, as Obi-Wan had a hand on his shoulder and guided him to their quarters.

— So you punched him?— Obi-Wan asked appalled, his blue eyes stared at Anakin as if the other boy had grown a second head. 

— What I was supposed to do?!

— Perhaps wait for Master Ryn to deal with it, Padawan?

Anakin wanted to stump his foot on the floor, but given he had already been picked up like a baby today he didn’t want to throw a temper tantrum and end up on the temple crèche. This was most likely impossible, but he wasn’t feeling like finding out if it was or not, at least not today. 

— Oh, yeah. And she would talk about  _releasing your emotions to the force, be mindful of your feelings..._ —  Anakin said in a dull, low voice impersonating the Master. 

— Which is  exactly  what a Jedi should do! What I would do and what  you  should do in this situation.

This was _not_ Anakin’s day.

— Yeah! But you are old! Older people do this kind of stuff. — He protested as they came closer to their quarters. 

— You are ten, Anakin. I would expect this behaviour for someone half your age. — Obi-Wan mumbled as he pressed the code in the keypad beside the door to open it.

— I’m not a  baby!—  he whined. 

He couldn’t believe this. He had made deals with the Tusken Raiders, Jawas, criminals from Mos Eisley, he had survived more pod crashes than he could remember, built his pod from scratch, build a functioning protocol droid and fixed more ships he could even count— but he was being called  a _baby_ for being angry. 

— I didn’t say you were.— Obi-Wan entered in their quarters and Anakin followed him, but instead of taking his boots off and do whatever his master needed him to do, he just stomped to his bedroom and shut the door close. 

— What- _Padawan!_ — Obi-Wan called him, taking how own boots off and removing his robe, folding it neatly and handing it on his arm before he could set it on his closet.

No answer.

Obi-Wan massaged his temples. He called again. 

— Padawan.

Once again, no reply. 

He sighed.

— One...two...

Anakin opened the door of his room.

— What is it?— he asked earnestly, but Obi-Wan could see a few tears threatening to spill from his eyes. 

— We need to talk. 

Anakin shook his head.

—No. I need to sleep. — he said tiredly.—Please...— noticed the faintest crack in his voice when he said that.

Obi-Wan sat on the floor, crossing his legs and resting his hands on his knees. 

— Please, Anakin.

He hesitated a bit, but slowly made his way next to Obi-Wan, his feet were dragging on the carpet like he was marching to the worst possible outcome in his life, but Kenobi didn’t mention anything.

Anakin sat next to him, hugging his knees near his chest.

— Can you copy my position, please?— Obi-Wan requested, signing down to his crossed legs and rested arms with his chin.

His apprentice sighed, his thin, small braid swung a little as he positioned himself on the floor, Anakin had his head low, and his blue eyes were staring at the floor.

— Very well.—the Jedi Knight said, taking a deep breath— Now, Padawan mine, I want you to listen to me.

— Yes, master. —Anakin sighed miserably

Obi-Wan debated whether or not he should say this, but he decided to go on with it.

— You can cry, if you feel like you need it. 

Anakin’s head turned to him, he had a puzzled, cautious expression on his face, as if he was trying to figure out if his master was testing him or not.

— Obi-Wan...

He nodded.

— You heard me, Anakin.— the Jedi said calmly — If you need this, and if this is how you feel like you could release your emotions, there is no shame in it. 

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and letting his emotions flow with the force. After a few instants of silence, he thought Anakin wouldn’t follow his advice and would allow all his issues grow within his mind. He reached for their bond, and all he felt was anguish and sadness from Anakin’s end. Disappointed, not with his apprentice, but with himself, he opened his eyes, only to see the somewhat sad image of Anakin crying.

It wasn’t the crying that was sad. Not at all, he had said before, and he meant it- there is no shame in it. What made Kenobi’s heart shrink in his chest was how his apprentice had mastered doing it without producing any sound. 

He felt like he was watching a holo-film with the volume down. Anakin’s eyes were closed, his shoulders shook whenever he would sob inaudibly, his chin trembled, and tears streamed down his face, but he did not produce any sound at all. 

— It is alright, Padawan.— Obi-Wan said soothingly.

That was what it took for Anakin to break down sobbing.

It wasn’t loud, but the Jedi could hear the tiny whimpers and sniffles as the child lifted his hands from his knees and dried his blushed face with the sleeves of his white robe.

Obi-Wan lifted his hand near Anakin, the boy flinched a bit, but relaxed when he just placed it on his shoulder.

— It is alright. What has gotten you so upset?

—I-I’m...— he hiccuped, still brushing his sleeves on his face. He couldn’t tell if Anakin was trying to dry his face or just hide it from him, but he decided not to comment anything— I’m so,— he trailed off— _E-Everyone_ knows  _so much_ already- and I don’t know anything. _I’m_ _s-stupid_ , I can’t do the things- people younger than me can. You deserve a better Padawan- and I-I miss my mom...—Anakin’s voice broke, and he sounded way younger than he was.

If Obi-Wan said he didn’t expected this to happen, this would be a lie. He knew Anakin had been holding the massive facade that he was fine, that he had left his past behind and moved on to become a Jedi. Eventually, he would explode, and Obi-Wan was naïve to think he could ignore it and work his way around it until it happened.

— Anakin. I want you to listen to me _very_ carefully.— he said calmly as his apprentice looked to him with his puffy blue eyes red from crying.— Most of the other children in the temple were brought here when they were under three years of age.— he paused, and Anakin nodded weakly— Some were a few months old, they were raised in the temple, and since they were _infants_ , they were introduced to the Jedi teachings. You were not. And I’m not blaming you for this; I just need you to understand that comparing yourself to your peers won’t do you any good. 

— But I need to be better than them!— he protested, looking as if he was about to start crying again.

— And why is that?

Anakin was silent.

— I don’t know?

Obi-Wan gave him a faint smile.

— No one was expecting you to be great right away, Anakin. I assure you. And this isn’t a competition, we are all here to learn, including me.

— Even Master Yoda?

Obi-Wan chuckled, standing up.

— Even Master Yoda. — Obi-Wan offered him his hand so Anakin could stand up.—A Jedi should always seek knowledge. How many Padawans in the temple do you think can pilot a pod, let alone build one? 

Anakin gave his shoulders.

— Exactly. But  you can. And this  is  valuable knowledge, Padawan. For a Jedi, every knowledge, if used for the good, is precious. — Anakin stood up next to him.—However, this doesn’t mean you can ignore the other lessons you must learn during your path. This means we will practice meditation together more often. Is that understood?

The child nodded.

— About your mother...— Obi-Wan continued— I’m afraid there isn’t much I can do about it, I haven’t met her, but I’m sure she was-

— _Is_.  She _is_.—  his Padawan corrected him almost immediately.

— Of course. I’m sure she  _ is _ a great woman, and if she decided this was the best for you, can we really debate this? You might miss her, and she misses you too, but imagine how much it took her to let you go. Would you rather waste her effort and courage, or honour her strength to part ways with you? 

Anakin’s chin trembled again, and he wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his robe.

— Now, you can wash up and go to bed. I know you are tired. Tomorrow we will talk to the initiate so you can apologise.

— Will he apologise too?— Anakin asked stubbornly.

— You might want to do it first, given you broke the boy’s nose.

Anakin’s eyebrows rose as his mouth opened.

—  _ Woah!  _ Did I  _ really _ broke his nose?— he asked excitedly.— That’s _so_ wizard! I never did this before.

Obi-Wan crossed his arms.

— Sorry. 

He sighed, and managed to hide the small smile that was threatening to stretch on his lips.

— Off to bed, you go. I’ll wake you later for dinner, and you need to rest.

—Okay!— Anakin stormed in his bedroom again, closing the door.

When Obi-Wan was about to go to his room and pass out in bed— not literally, but he felt so exhausted that this was a possibility—Anakin opened the bedroom’s door again.

—Master!

—Yes, Padawan?

Anakin leaned a little on the door frame.

— Can I hug you?— he asked shyly, almost inaudible.

Obi-Wan’s back straightened.

— _Oh_.  — he muttered surprisedly— Well. Yes, I suppose you can, Padawan. 

The child gave some quick large steps in his direction and wrapped his arms around his hips. Anakin mumbled something, but since his face was pressed on Obi-Wan’s stomach, he didn’t quite understand the words.

— What did you say?

Anakin looked up to his master, his blue eyes not as sad as they were earlier.

— I said, thank you. 

— You don’t need to thank me. That’s just my duty, Anakin.

Anakin rolled his eyes  
  


— Thank you for doing such a good duty, then.

Obi-Wan patted his apprentice’s blonde hair.

— You are welcome, Padawan. Now, to bed. Please.

Anakin let go of him and quickly made his way to his bedroom, closing the door.

Obi-Wan searched for his bond, being greeted with nothing but a calming sense of relief. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
